Ready and raring to go!!!!!!!

So this time tomorrow I will be with a fantastic group of people in Albania. I seriously cannot wait!!! I know God is going to do amazing things whilst we are out there not just in the country, but in the team as well. It is a completely new experience for me to go to a different country with the church. I feel pretty nervous about everything I'm involved in, purely because I want to give the trip everything I have. 

At the same time though I am aware that this trip has nothing to do with what I give it. My involvement cannot impact anybodies life. But Christ who lives in me can. He has abundant resources, he can help people, he can teach people, he can give strength, he can impact the most stubborn people, he can warm the coldest hearts, he can revolutionise the way that Albania sees God. 

So really my job out there, and the whole teams job, is simply to show Jesus to the people. To tell people they can live a life of victory, to teach people that the sovereign king accepts them and wants to use them. 

I am praying that during the trip my love for God will be clearly shown through every action I do and every word that leaves my mouth. I am praying that God will keep giving the whole team new strength and new passion so that we can pass it on. I know that many people will be awakened by God during the trip, that they will be touched by the worship, drama and seminars. That they will be inspired.

I'm going to put everything I am into this trip. I'm going to try my best to bring glory to God everyday in everything I do. And I'm praying for the whole team, that we will be the start of something new in Albania. That we will be good representatives for Kerith, for Bracknell, for Great Britain and for God!!

Hello Albania!!!!!

He works for good in everything...

Last week was pretty tricky to say the least. I cannot think of a succession of days where I have had to rely on God so much. Wednesday bought about the horrific news that Annie had died. The tragedy completely challenged me and made me look to God and rely on God in a new way. I would have called Annie my friend, although I did not know her half as well as many people. I would have liked to know her better. Seeing the devastation that the event caused, and the enormous amount of people affected by her death you can safely say that she was a truly incredible person. She made me laugh a lot especially when I saw her on Friday's at LIFE. It didn't matter that I did not know her because she was always smiling so you felt you knew her anyway. For me it was the first time that I had experienced death like this. I have had deaths in the family etc. but I was young and was not directly affected by them. I cannot remember them that well. But Annie I remember. Annie I knew. It was a huge shock to me and put everything into perspective. It made me cry. It hurt. It hurt me how unfair it seemed and it hurt me to see everyone so devastated. It made me question God. The first thing I could think about was "why?" Why Annie? Why now? Why would you let this happen? Why?

I haven't found any answers to those questions. Instead I've found a whole new depth to my relationship with God. A relationship not based on the answered questions and the seen miracles, but a relationship based on the unanswerable and the unseen. A relationship that knows one things for sure: God is God.
When God prompted Moses he asked why him? why now? He also asked who God was. God's answer was "I AM who I AM... you are to say...I Am has sent me to you." I am. The alpha and the omega. The beginning and the end. There is no category for God. He just is who he is. We can't alter him, he's unchangeable, intangible and mysterious. He works in ways I cannot understand. I cannot understand why Annie was killed. No one can answer my whys. But there is one thing I know. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." Romans 8:28. This verse has meant something completely different in my life this past week. I've had to put all of my strength into trusting God, relying on him, and believing this verse. I've needed to embrace the answers I do know and I've needed to let go of the questions unanswered.

Many good things have come out of this past week for me though.
I have felt the power of community - I have known how powerful it is to share someones tears.
I have learnt to trust God in EVERY circumstance.
I have been challenged to choose to worship, really worship - not just to sing the lyrics when I feel like it but to mean them and sing them even in troubled times.
I have known and seen God as the comforter.
I have known and seen the effect of his great peace.
I have felt God with us so powerfully.
I have been reminded that we have hope
I have learnt to see the bigger picture.

So reflecting on this week, well, it's been a bit of a blur. It's hurt, it's stung. It's seemed unjust and unfair. But God has been there. Something my Grandad said has really helped me this week and writing this has reminded me of it. "We cannot always understand his will but we will always rest under the shelter of his wing." God has been there for me and for many others in a whole new way this week. I want to be on fire for him. I choose to follow him no matter what. I choose to trust him. I choose to have faith in the creator of the universe - the one who made me, the one who holds time in his hands. The one who works for good in everything...

Friends

Sometimes I worry about friends. It's easy at school to worry that I do not know who my friends are. I am friends with quite a few groups of people and sometimes that can feel like I don't have any close friends. But I have found that the more I get involved with church and the more I focus on God, the more proper friends he blesses me with. God provides our needs, and often I forget that that means he will provide good relationships for me also.

Yesterday I had a fabulous evening with some fabulous friends who I have been really blessed with. They make me laugh uncontrollably and more importantly I feel comfortable around them. They are major parts of my journey with God. 

Amy and Charlee. 

Yesterday evening I met a lovely friend of Amy's, we had an outstandingly delicious curry cooked by Amy's dad, and we watched some rather lovely films. I have never eaten so much popcorn. 

Now Amy, I have known for quite a while but in the last year or so I feel we have grown much closer together. She is brilliant. Charlee, I have only known for just over a year and I think she's hilarious and lovely. Now I can't mention them, without mentioning Anna. Anna like Amy, has been a friend for quite a while and is always there making me giggle about something ridiculous - however the lucky Anna is currently in America holidaying. They are friends I can pray with, and laugh with. They are all fantastic girls. I hope that I am a fraction as fantastic as them. All of them are going to do amazing things for God. I mean AMAZING! Seriously, the future is so exciting. 

Writing about my friends reminds me that God is my best friend. Sounds so cheesy but its true. I mean what is a best friend? A best friend is someone you trust, someone who listens, someone who encourages, someone who you don't mind if they correct you, someone who makes you laugh, someone who you are comfortable around, someone who knows everything about you. That is so God. He is trustworthy, listens to everything, encourages, corrects our ways, is a bit of a joker, and who we can be comfortable around. He knows everything - my secrets, my fears, my failures, the things I love. He cares for us and loves us. 

John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends."

God is our friend.

 In Romans 5:10 it says,  "For since our friendship with God was restored...we will certainly be saved..." . Because of Jesus' death on the cross, God is our friend. 

I don't need to worry about relationships. He is the creator of relationships. 

 God, I am so grateful for my friends. Please help me to be a good friend. Amen.

Treasures :D

Today I feel blessed. 

My summer has officially started and this means that I have an awful lot of free time - I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself? 

Today though, Mum and I decided to go for a bit of shopping. It was a rather successful shopping trip and I bought several new items to add to my already "bursting-at-the-seams" wardrobe. 

When we got back from our spot of retail therapy I decided to have a go at tidying my room. When I say tidying, I mean making an awful mess by pulling everything out of my drawers, wardrobe and from under my bed and trying to find a home for each item, preferably a home that I will remember in the future. I found a pound coin at the bottom of one drawer (for which I was rather chuffed) and a fork in one of my handbags (which confused me slightly). I arranged my vast array of nail polishes into a colour spectrum and returned all rediscovered treasures to their natural habitats. Seeing everything that I have made me feel so lucky and grateful, but I know that even the most prized of my possessions are worthless when compared to what I have in God.

In Matthew it says: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also..." 

Today has made me think about my treasures. I need to make sure that all my treasures are in God. I love my clothes, shoes and bags (like any girl), but it should not be a priority for me. Eventually my clothes and shoes will wear out and my bags will break. But God is everlasting. It is much more worthwhile to invest in him. 

So often I start to worry about what I look like or whether I look good in what I am wearing. I have to remind myself that God will provide everything I need - clothes, food, relationships... I don't need to worry at all about my earthly needs. Everything I have belongs to God. Everything I am belongs to God. Everything I do should honour God, but so often it doesn't. 

Writing this I'm reminded of one of my favourite songs - God of Justice by Tim Hughes. I love this song so much. The lyrics say, "Freely we've received, Now freely we will give..." God has blessed me so much. He has given me these things freely. He gave me eternal life freely. He gave me love freely. Now freely, I must give these gifts. This can actually be rather hard. I mean sometimes (okay often) it is pretty hard to 'freely' love my brothers. It is hard to 'freely' give my time to people and to 'freely' share everything that God had given to me. But I must. 


Tim Hughes sings:

"We must go, live to feed the hungry

Stand beside the broken

We must go."

The song just puts everything I live for into perspective. What do I live for? Where are my treasures? If I live for earthly things like appearance and my treasures consist of shoes and clothes, my life is pretty useless, no matter how gorgeous my clothes or how sparkly my shoes - what is the point of life if it is living for those insignificant things?

Living to feed the hungry. Whether I literally am providing food for people, or whether I feed people in terms of teaching, I know that this is a life worth living. But If I am going to live life to feed the hungry and stand beside the broken - I need to be secure in God. Even if I gave away everything I owned and literally all I did was focus on feeding the hungry, my resources would run out. But God has infinite resources and his blessings never end.

 The verse in Matthew says that where our treasures are, our heart is also. How can I help the broken and hurting and how am I supposed to feed the hungry when my heart is in earthly treasures? No, my heart needs to be focused on heaven. I need to honour God in everything I do and trust that if I focus my attention on heavenly treasures, God will provide everything that I need. I need to follow God's footsteps so that I know where to find the hungry and hurting people. I need to make sure that my treasures are not in earthly things, but in things of the everlasting God.

Freely I've received, now freely I will give. I must go. I will live to feed the hungry. I will stand beside the broken. 

I must go.

Thank you God for everything that I have. Thank you that you are never-ending. Help me to be grateful for everything and to remember that I need to store my treasures in heaven. Help me to be generous and freely give away what I have freely been given by You.

Amen.

To blog or not to blog?

This morning I woke up and  decided that I rather fancied the idea of a blog. Well, to be honest I have wanted to start one for a while now but every time I asked myself the question:"to blog or not to blog?" the answer was always "not to blog". I mean what if no-one reads it, or what if I write a load of rubbish? It all just seemed a little too much of a risk. But this morning my view on the whole idea was different and suddenly I thought "what is there to loose?".

I love to write. I went to a conference at the weekend and one of the sessions I attended was about writing. The leaders talked about the fact that you did not need to be qualified to write, everybody had different ways to express themselves with words and we all had a go at finding ideas for writing from pictures of the beach. I was so inspired! I wanted to write. 

As I said I love writing. I want to write for God. I need to write about my God and about everything he is doing for me. He is an awesome God. His love never changes. He makes all things work together for my good. He is my shelter, my hiding place, the way, the truth, the life. He is my first love. And I am living because of him. 

So this is the beginning. From this point on I will write about everything: my friends, my family, my fears, my challenges, my dreams, my hopes, my observations...

It may contain some rubbish but I hope that most of it will inspire you and make you giggle. 

Welcome to my blog.